Fake it til you make it. More like, fake it til you have a breakdown, hate yourself for not being better than that, become suicidally depressed, have another breakdown and dissociate for 8 - 10 hours a day amirite?
Update on Cole. I love him. He feels great to suck and fuck. The tapered head with a bit of lube saw me riding him quite happily. I attempted his knot and got about half way (with a liberal reapplication of lube). I think with some practice and time I'll be able to knot him and have the most full feeling in my life. I may have overdone it in the half an hour I rode him, but all in all, I am a supremely satisfied kitt