I know people will not always be happy with my choices and I probably wasn't the best one for this job I chose for myself, but I am really proud of the community that has been made here. We are quick to protect and care for one another, and so we have had a very safe and great almost 2 years on the site! I don't think it's fully clear from my updates and random venting though about what my actual role that I take on here is.
Buns Duties
--------------
- check any reports on the site
- check any tags on the mod discord about the site
- respond to inbox & alerts
- spot treat the whole site for misplaced threads, done sales posts, fake timestamps, other red flags for basic mod duties & scammer prevention
- yearly fee payment (even though you guys have really come through helping me pay it off with donations <3)
- upgrades (not just payment, but it does take programming to get shit to fit and work sometimes when doing custom things & i have to learn more about the background of the site and a ton of shit with too much life going on and no one ik knows this forums back end very well)
The point of having mods for the site though is so that things are fully covered because its not safe to just rely on one person alone. Multiple mods have power over multiple sections so that we can stay covered and a lot of members send in reports to the things that we might miss or they just happened to see it sooner. We really appreciate the effort you put in as members as well to help keep the community safe!
Unfortunately I haven't found any event planners, artists for buttons & emojis we were gonna do (unfortunately our sweet vampirebat had to tend to lifes duties <3 i miss you), & forum programmers.
BACKGROUND INFO
I am trying to speak about these things vaguely and tamely and the best I can do is just warn you about these potential triggers, so dont read if you get triggered easily. It's some details about the shit I've been dealing with and a site issue that popped up, how we handled it, how people were upset about it, and the process of how modding the site goes in actual practice. How we had to handle a situation we never faced before. This isn't a call out post about the person who complained, this isn't about anything other than the fact that some of you guys need/want to understand exactly how it works in the background whether or not you agree with how it's run.
TRIGGER WARNING BELOW: Abuse mention, Parental mention, Self Harm References, Mental Health Issues
TRIGGER WARNING OVER OTHER THAN MENTAL HEALTH MENTION
A LONG TL;DR (for those that skipped due to the trigger warning & the ending to this all)
This is just the nature of having a site and having mods. I have to delegate tasks and even if in the moment I might have done something different, we can always work through whatever happens. People can be banned, unbanned, threads can be brought back from the dead, whatever need be. Sometimes situations are new to us and we haven't encountered them before so it takes us some time to be able to group up in the background as people have lives and its hard to know what the right decision to make is for people sometimes so we need time to talk.
However, if I am not going to be around for some time due to my mental health hospital leave, then depending on the mods decisions might be something you guys have to get used to depending on if they allow social media/phones/electronics. Getting used to the HEALTHY and NORMAL idea of mods doing their job regardless of if the boss is around, just like people keep working at any establishment; restaurants, shops, corporations, still work even if their boss isn't around, would be absolutely fantastic.
I am tired of hearing because I haven't updated the site that I'm not managing it. I've been here the whole time except parts of when my brother was around because it was hard to be on for long with child prying eyes and him having no one else to focus on except me since no one else is here. The sites being managed, scammers are being stopped, shits pretty good rn, just I dont have the time to make the site grow or do events how I had hoped I could in the past.
I just really can't help people who choose to take me trying to explain whats happening in my life as laziness or some sort of excuse. My life and my brother and everything else I have going on does come first and I'm not hiding that. It's not an excuse, its my REASON. This is whats happening. I'm not asking you to excuse me because I don't need to be excused lmfao I try to keep you guys informed just in case you want to know, if not then dont read and move on.
Buns Duties
--------------
- check any reports on the site
- check any tags on the mod discord about the site
- respond to inbox & alerts
- spot treat the whole site for misplaced threads, done sales posts, fake timestamps, other red flags for basic mod duties & scammer prevention
- yearly fee payment (even though you guys have really come through helping me pay it off with donations <3)
- upgrades (not just payment, but it does take programming to get shit to fit and work sometimes when doing custom things & i have to learn more about the background of the site and a ton of shit with too much life going on and no one ik knows this forums back end very well)
The point of having mods for the site though is so that things are fully covered because its not safe to just rely on one person alone. Multiple mods have power over multiple sections so that we can stay covered and a lot of members send in reports to the things that we might miss or they just happened to see it sooner. We really appreciate the effort you put in as members as well to help keep the community safe!
Unfortunately I haven't found any event planners, artists for buttons & emojis we were gonna do (unfortunately our sweet vampirebat had to tend to lifes duties <3 i miss you), & forum programmers.
BACKGROUND INFO
I am trying to speak about these things vaguely and tamely and the best I can do is just warn you about these potential triggers, so dont read if you get triggered easily. It's some details about the shit I've been dealing with and a site issue that popped up, how we handled it, how people were upset about it, and the process of how modding the site goes in actual practice. How we had to handle a situation we never faced before. This isn't a call out post about the person who complained, this isn't about anything other than the fact that some of you guys need/want to understand exactly how it works in the background whether or not you agree with how it's run.
TRIGGER WARNING BELOW: Abuse mention, Parental mention, Self Harm References, Mental Health Issues
I'm straight up going to give an example of something that happened about like 6-ish months ago. There was a new user that was talking about how they were in high school (on reddit?) and joined the site.
During this time I was on 24/7 baby sitting duty with my lil bro in my house. He had no friends, nothing to do, except me entertain him and try to help him catch up with schooling. He's 14, should be in the middle of 9th grade and still reading at a 3rd grade level because of my family being fucked so I always do homeschooling practices as much as I can. I try to get him to experience american stuff and tried to be a good adult figure for him. He needed me a lot during this time, especially with all the emotional shit going on with the both of us and us trying to keep him from getting stolen away by my father and even dumber shit. (not to mention I've had to slowly diy my houses floors from carpet to hardwood when i thought i'd have my partners help and so my brother and i were working on that and fuck dude, my lifes just a mess)
So, while this wasn't just basic mod moving a thread around, I kept in communication in the background on the discord with my mods and they decided they wanted to handle it by seeing if we could get an age verification or something on the person so we weren't unfairly kicking them off of the site when they would legally be allowed to be here. I had delegated the task to someone I HIGHLY trust their judgement, so I thought that was an acceptable thing to do, especially since they are just as cautious as me about protecting everyone and the site. It's not even as if theres even a lot of nudity or sexual content on here anyway, all of that you can see without an account on the subreddit, so them having their account for an extra day for age verification didn't seem like a problem to have access to seeing silicone being sold.
One user went harshly on me when I have a hard time keeping my head above water when dealing with my brother because it feels like such a lost cause and I was right to not have wanted to let him go with my father because he ended up going through some shit I had to call child protective services about. It was a really hard time for me wanting to do negative things to myself while not being fit enough to tend to a child that desperately needed help from someone and no one else is paying attention to him except useless me.
BACK TO THE POTENTIAL MINOR THO, so the user decided to go very harshly on me due to the fact they think since I'm the owner, even if I was in the middle of some nasty shit that day, I had to drop everything to ban someone who might have not even been a minor because the site would be sued and major legal issues having a minor around sexual stuff. I understand that point of view and the point of protection over this person, but I honestly don't know what to say. I still at this very moment can't tell you what the best course of action would be. To some of you, it may be obvious, but when it comes to things that baffle me, I do have to rely on my team to help me make up my mind and keep shit afloat. Theres nothing wrong with that or needing help.
In the end, the potential minor person willingly said that they will just sign back up in a few months once they were of age and so instead of them leaving rejected, they see they are a welcome member in the future (which should/might be around now. hi if you're seeing this!!) I thought that since this ended up the most positive, we did the right thing? well it doesnt feel like it still due to the fact I lost someone over it.
I know I'm not fit for this job. I know I'm not fit for anything, but I have always forced myself to scrap up for you guys when you need me. The ONE time I FULLY relied on delegation to my mods and I lost a great important person to me in the community. I get this might seem whatever fucking way, but its just how my life has been going and I'm close to checking myself into a mental hospital for help so there might be a period from 10 days to maybe 3 months depending on what I do where I wont be around.
Just because you dont see a little "Bun" title around, doesn't mean you aren't going to be safe and protected here. I have already made sure that theres someone who can take over the site if anything happened to me to keep it running. If any of you have any concerns, feel free to PM me about it.
During this time I was on 24/7 baby sitting duty with my lil bro in my house. He had no friends, nothing to do, except me entertain him and try to help him catch up with schooling. He's 14, should be in the middle of 9th grade and still reading at a 3rd grade level because of my family being fucked so I always do homeschooling practices as much as I can. I try to get him to experience american stuff and tried to be a good adult figure for him. He needed me a lot during this time, especially with all the emotional shit going on with the both of us and us trying to keep him from getting stolen away by my father and even dumber shit. (not to mention I've had to slowly diy my houses floors from carpet to hardwood when i thought i'd have my partners help and so my brother and i were working on that and fuck dude, my lifes just a mess)
So, while this wasn't just basic mod moving a thread around, I kept in communication in the background on the discord with my mods and they decided they wanted to handle it by seeing if we could get an age verification or something on the person so we weren't unfairly kicking them off of the site when they would legally be allowed to be here. I had delegated the task to someone I HIGHLY trust their judgement, so I thought that was an acceptable thing to do, especially since they are just as cautious as me about protecting everyone and the site. It's not even as if theres even a lot of nudity or sexual content on here anyway, all of that you can see without an account on the subreddit, so them having their account for an extra day for age verification didn't seem like a problem to have access to seeing silicone being sold.
One user went harshly on me when I have a hard time keeping my head above water when dealing with my brother because it feels like such a lost cause and I was right to not have wanted to let him go with my father because he ended up going through some shit I had to call child protective services about. It was a really hard time for me wanting to do negative things to myself while not being fit enough to tend to a child that desperately needed help from someone and no one else is paying attention to him except useless me.
BACK TO THE POTENTIAL MINOR THO, so the user decided to go very harshly on me due to the fact they think since I'm the owner, even if I was in the middle of some nasty shit that day, I had to drop everything to ban someone who might have not even been a minor because the site would be sued and major legal issues having a minor around sexual stuff. I understand that point of view and the point of protection over this person, but I honestly don't know what to say. I still at this very moment can't tell you what the best course of action would be. To some of you, it may be obvious, but when it comes to things that baffle me, I do have to rely on my team to help me make up my mind and keep shit afloat. Theres nothing wrong with that or needing help.
In the end, the potential minor person willingly said that they will just sign back up in a few months once they were of age and so instead of them leaving rejected, they see they are a welcome member in the future (which should/might be around now. hi if you're seeing this!!) I thought that since this ended up the most positive, we did the right thing? well it doesnt feel like it still due to the fact I lost someone over it.
I know I'm not fit for this job. I know I'm not fit for anything, but I have always forced myself to scrap up for you guys when you need me. The ONE time I FULLY relied on delegation to my mods and I lost a great important person to me in the community. I get this might seem whatever fucking way, but its just how my life has been going and I'm close to checking myself into a mental hospital for help so there might be a period from 10 days to maybe 3 months depending on what I do where I wont be around.
Just because you dont see a little "Bun" title around, doesn't mean you aren't going to be safe and protected here. I have already made sure that theres someone who can take over the site if anything happened to me to keep it running. If any of you have any concerns, feel free to PM me about it.
TRIGGER WARNING OVER OTHER THAN MENTAL HEALTH MENTION
A LONG TL;DR (for those that skipped due to the trigger warning & the ending to this all)
This is just the nature of having a site and having mods. I have to delegate tasks and even if in the moment I might have done something different, we can always work through whatever happens. People can be banned, unbanned, threads can be brought back from the dead, whatever need be. Sometimes situations are new to us and we haven't encountered them before so it takes us some time to be able to group up in the background as people have lives and its hard to know what the right decision to make is for people sometimes so we need time to talk.
However, if I am not going to be around for some time due to my mental health hospital leave, then depending on the mods decisions might be something you guys have to get used to depending on if they allow social media/phones/electronics. Getting used to the HEALTHY and NORMAL idea of mods doing their job regardless of if the boss is around, just like people keep working at any establishment; restaurants, shops, corporations, still work even if their boss isn't around, would be absolutely fantastic.
I am tired of hearing because I haven't updated the site that I'm not managing it. I've been here the whole time except parts of when my brother was around because it was hard to be on for long with child prying eyes and him having no one else to focus on except me since no one else is here. The sites being managed, scammers are being stopped, shits pretty good rn, just I dont have the time to make the site grow or do events how I had hoped I could in the past.
I just really can't help people who choose to take me trying to explain whats happening in my life as laziness or some sort of excuse. My life and my brother and everything else I have going on does come first and I'm not hiding that. It's not an excuse, its my REASON. This is whats happening. I'm not asking you to excuse me because I don't need to be excused lmfao I try to keep you guys informed just in case you want to know, if not then dont read and move on.
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