Eligos
Void
I’ll preface this by saying that I am a very recent collector myself, and my collection isn’t terribly large. But there’s a handful of common questions and concerns I’d like to address as someone who was once horribly clueless and didn’t know what to take from user reviews or suggestions. I wanted to put some thoughts down for any new toy users browsing the forum for their first toys or advice on what to get based on what I’ve learned through my experiences over time. I hope it helps offer insight, and I definitely want other users to add their own thoughts as well!
Common Question: What firmness should I get my toy in?
This question is what inspired my want to write this thread. And it’s a good question, but it’s also something that has a very complex answer to it—
Toying is a lot of trial and error. And I mean that. Silicone cured toys are expensive for a reason, they’re expensive to make but they’re also incredibly durable and very easy to take care of. While generally most people will start with soft or medium firmness to get a feel for things, it must be understood that this is an important part of the collecting hobby as a whole. You will have to spend money in order to figure out what works best for you, your body and your methods.
I can’t say I’ve ever seen more than a few people get it right on their first purchase, and that’s totally normal. What happens then is the option of reselling your toy and saving for another, or just giving up. The money turns a lot of people away from the hobby, and that’s fair. But it’s important to note that the quality and safety of expensive toys is what you’re spending first and foremost. Your health, comfort and safety is what is most important. You will, undoubtedly, purchase toys that you won’t enjoy. Don’t let that discourage you from finding the ones that you do.
Firmness for most of us varies from model to model and even size to size. I have, for example, most of my larger toys in soft firmness to avoid discomfort and what I call a “hard stretch” pain. I like a little give when using larger toys because it offers some physical forgiveness on my body. However, I also have medium toys in medium firm. These tend to be longer toys that I prefer thrusting with, as opposed to girthier toys that stretch. I had to figure this out on my own. Sometimes in painful ways!
Common Concern- What if it doesn’t fit?
First thing’s first, don’t force it to. It’s tempting, I know, to try and brute force the expensive dildo you just bought into cooperating. Sizing up isn’t impossible, but it takes time and patience. For vaginal users in particular, it can be especially frustrating.
The vaginal canal is full of muscle, and muscle can be trained and exercised. A secondary concern expressed often that I see is that stretching will cause permanent “damage” to the integrity of these muscles. While you can’t physically change the lengths you can take in terms of depth for the most part (being aroused and well lubricated helps accommodate depth slightly), you can take quite a bit of girth if you patiently work at it.
Now, that “damage” a lot of people worry about—don’t. While frequent, heavy toy usage can make it easier to use bigger toys, this is no different than having regular sexual encounters. Your body has adjusted to make you more comfortable with what is expected. You won’t give yourself a gaping hole or anything unless you’re constantly stretching on purpose. In fact, most of us accidentally size down by going without a toy session for a while. What your muscles do depends on how often you use them.
Common Question- How do you toy?
This is something that is easily answered on the surface. Lubrication, time, patience. Great advice, but I want to also stress the importance of how to approach getting a feel for a toy, especially if it’s your very first one.
Time. You’re going to need a lot of it, away from stressors or people. While you’re free to do as you will, I personally find that my first session with a new model is generally best spent carefully and seeing how it feels at first. And it’s not for no good reason, you ever had a rug burn? Yeah, it’s possible to get that but in your nether regions. Tiny, stinging abrasions that burn and get worse if you keep trying to toy before they heal fully. Inside you.
That’s how my first over-eager try ended. I was dumb, excited and ignorant. You should make sure there’s very minor discomfort when using the toy, and apply lube regularly and generously. Don’t ignore your body if it’s trying to tell you it hurts, because believe me, after it’s all said and done it’s miserable.
Obviously if you’re sexually active as a whole, you’ll probably have a good grasp on when your body can or can’t deal with play.
The most important thing is to trust your body, give it ample care and that your personal pleasure needs are just that—yours to discover.
That’s a big part of the deal that is spending the money, getting to explore your body in all sorts of ways with new things. Please be kind to it. Tomorrow is always another day to try again if you’re not feeling it.
But are sex toys really that great?
In my experience, yes! Everyone collects for different reasons.
Some people just like how they look, some like to create their own using art they’ve made, some like to try everything once and some just do it casually. You take from it what you decide to take from it.
It helped me feel much more comfortable with my body, discover my needs and be unashamed with sexuality as a whole. Brought me out of my shell, as it were, and helped me stop feeling wrong for wanting to make myself feel good.
Don’t be afraid to participate in the culture either! Share experiences, show off your cool toys, sell ones you don’t like and buy some cool secondhand ones you missed the chance to get before. Generally, the more extravagant your toy is in terms of looks, the easier it will be to sell. This is because buying a secondhand Black Friday (all black color) toy for slightly less than the same model with nicer colors brand new is generally unappealing. So don’t be afraid to spend a little extra for some custom fades and marbles, even if it doesn’t work for you, someone else will love it and you’ll have more than half of the money you spent back to put towards another model.
A lot of people who ask me about buying their first toy often express wanting to spend as little as possible, without understanding that it would be more worth it to just pay for what they’d really enjoy having. If it does work for them, they have something they love. If it doesn’t, they don’t get stuck trying to sell a flat olive green dong in a sea of beautiful customs. Money is a factor to consider, but a large part of deciding to collect toys is the secondhand selling and trading that comes hand in hand with it.
Obviously don’t go broke for some silicone weens, but do consider saving for something you’ll be happier with. It’ll take longer to get, but you’ll have a lot less regrets if you need to get rid of it. Hopefully, though, you won’t have to!
In closing, I want to reiterate the importance of how much trial and error it is to buy toys. There is no one perfect model, firmness, size or method because everyone enjoys different things. You’re going to buy toys you will hate, things that don’t work with you and the wrong sizes and firmness sometimes. That’s okay. There’s someone else out there who will be over the moon for it.
You’ll figure out what you like best as you go along. Whether you just want to keep a small collection of favorites or a large display of artistic toys, you have to start somewhere. Don’t be discouraged if that first purchase goes a little wrong!
And definitely post pictures of the cool colors, we love that stuff here.
Common Question: What firmness should I get my toy in?
This question is what inspired my want to write this thread. And it’s a good question, but it’s also something that has a very complex answer to it—
Toying is a lot of trial and error. And I mean that. Silicone cured toys are expensive for a reason, they’re expensive to make but they’re also incredibly durable and very easy to take care of. While generally most people will start with soft or medium firmness to get a feel for things, it must be understood that this is an important part of the collecting hobby as a whole. You will have to spend money in order to figure out what works best for you, your body and your methods.
I can’t say I’ve ever seen more than a few people get it right on their first purchase, and that’s totally normal. What happens then is the option of reselling your toy and saving for another, or just giving up. The money turns a lot of people away from the hobby, and that’s fair. But it’s important to note that the quality and safety of expensive toys is what you’re spending first and foremost. Your health, comfort and safety is what is most important. You will, undoubtedly, purchase toys that you won’t enjoy. Don’t let that discourage you from finding the ones that you do.
Firmness for most of us varies from model to model and even size to size. I have, for example, most of my larger toys in soft firmness to avoid discomfort and what I call a “hard stretch” pain. I like a little give when using larger toys because it offers some physical forgiveness on my body. However, I also have medium toys in medium firm. These tend to be longer toys that I prefer thrusting with, as opposed to girthier toys that stretch. I had to figure this out on my own. Sometimes in painful ways!
Common Concern- What if it doesn’t fit?
First thing’s first, don’t force it to. It’s tempting, I know, to try and brute force the expensive dildo you just bought into cooperating. Sizing up isn’t impossible, but it takes time and patience. For vaginal users in particular, it can be especially frustrating.
The vaginal canal is full of muscle, and muscle can be trained and exercised. A secondary concern expressed often that I see is that stretching will cause permanent “damage” to the integrity of these muscles. While you can’t physically change the lengths you can take in terms of depth for the most part (being aroused and well lubricated helps accommodate depth slightly), you can take quite a bit of girth if you patiently work at it.
Now, that “damage” a lot of people worry about—don’t. While frequent, heavy toy usage can make it easier to use bigger toys, this is no different than having regular sexual encounters. Your body has adjusted to make you more comfortable with what is expected. You won’t give yourself a gaping hole or anything unless you’re constantly stretching on purpose. In fact, most of us accidentally size down by going without a toy session for a while. What your muscles do depends on how often you use them.
Common Question- How do you toy?
This is something that is easily answered on the surface. Lubrication, time, patience. Great advice, but I want to also stress the importance of how to approach getting a feel for a toy, especially if it’s your very first one.
Time. You’re going to need a lot of it, away from stressors or people. While you’re free to do as you will, I personally find that my first session with a new model is generally best spent carefully and seeing how it feels at first. And it’s not for no good reason, you ever had a rug burn? Yeah, it’s possible to get that but in your nether regions. Tiny, stinging abrasions that burn and get worse if you keep trying to toy before they heal fully. Inside you.
That’s how my first over-eager try ended. I was dumb, excited and ignorant. You should make sure there’s very minor discomfort when using the toy, and apply lube regularly and generously. Don’t ignore your body if it’s trying to tell you it hurts, because believe me, after it’s all said and done it’s miserable.
Obviously if you’re sexually active as a whole, you’ll probably have a good grasp on when your body can or can’t deal with play.
The most important thing is to trust your body, give it ample care and that your personal pleasure needs are just that—yours to discover.
That’s a big part of the deal that is spending the money, getting to explore your body in all sorts of ways with new things. Please be kind to it. Tomorrow is always another day to try again if you’re not feeling it.
But are sex toys really that great?
In my experience, yes! Everyone collects for different reasons.
Some people just like how they look, some like to create their own using art they’ve made, some like to try everything once and some just do it casually. You take from it what you decide to take from it.
It helped me feel much more comfortable with my body, discover my needs and be unashamed with sexuality as a whole. Brought me out of my shell, as it were, and helped me stop feeling wrong for wanting to make myself feel good.
Don’t be afraid to participate in the culture either! Share experiences, show off your cool toys, sell ones you don’t like and buy some cool secondhand ones you missed the chance to get before. Generally, the more extravagant your toy is in terms of looks, the easier it will be to sell. This is because buying a secondhand Black Friday (all black color) toy for slightly less than the same model with nicer colors brand new is generally unappealing. So don’t be afraid to spend a little extra for some custom fades and marbles, even if it doesn’t work for you, someone else will love it and you’ll have more than half of the money you spent back to put towards another model.
A lot of people who ask me about buying their first toy often express wanting to spend as little as possible, without understanding that it would be more worth it to just pay for what they’d really enjoy having. If it does work for them, they have something they love. If it doesn’t, they don’t get stuck trying to sell a flat olive green dong in a sea of beautiful customs. Money is a factor to consider, but a large part of deciding to collect toys is the secondhand selling and trading that comes hand in hand with it.
Obviously don’t go broke for some silicone weens, but do consider saving for something you’ll be happier with. It’ll take longer to get, but you’ll have a lot less regrets if you need to get rid of it. Hopefully, though, you won’t have to!
In closing, I want to reiterate the importance of how much trial and error it is to buy toys. There is no one perfect model, firmness, size or method because everyone enjoys different things. You’re going to buy toys you will hate, things that don’t work with you and the wrong sizes and firmness sometimes. That’s okay. There’s someone else out there who will be over the moon for it.
You’ll figure out what you like best as you go along. Whether you just want to keep a small collection of favorites or a large display of artistic toys, you have to start somewhere. Don’t be discouraged if that first purchase goes a little wrong!
And definitely post pictures of the cool colors, we love that stuff here.
